About 12% of pregnant women walk into the delivery room with a birth plan in their hands. That means 12% of women have spent considerable time ruminating on their preferences, needs, and desires for their ideal labor and delivery. While that level of forethought can create peace of mind, you must do more than write a birth plan to see results.
The only way to ensure that your birthing team understands your wishes is to share your birth plan. For many women, that can be the trickiest part of all. How do you initiate a conversation with your doctor or birth team, and when is the right time to do it?
We've created this guide to help new parents understand the complexities of sharing their needs and desires with their labor and delivery team. We'll explore the ideal time to have the conversation, plus include a few tips and tricks for ensuring your voice is heard.
Read on to learn our best pregnancy tips, including when, why, and how to make your non-negotiable desires known when you're expecting.
When to Share Your Birth Plan
Welcoming a new baby is exciting, and it's natural to revel in the joy and anticipation for as long as possible. The reality of labor rarely feels real until you've entered the third trimester. That's when most couples begin to think about labor and delivery and, thus, when most new parents write their birth plans.
Ideally, however, most parents-to-be should start thinking through their ideal birth scenario much sooner. The quicker you have a conversation about your preferred birth, the more time you have to pivot if your current provider is not an ideal match. It also gives you time to think through elements that may be impossible in your current situation and determine a second choice.
It's a good idea to start creating your birth plan early in your second trimester. To write an informed birth plan, take a quality childbirth class, hire a doula, and talk to your care provider.
What to Ask Your Doctor? Discuss These Topics
You've put a lot of thought into your birth plan, and now it's time to get it across to your doctor.
It’s not just about how you want your birth to go. It’s also about how your doctor wants it to go. And they may have different ideas than you and your partner.
Here are some things to discuss with your doctor ahead of time:
Pain management
Do you want pain medication or not? If so, what kind? You may also want to include whether or not you want an epidural or other pain relief methods like gas or relaxation techniques.
Induction
If you have gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia, there may be risks associated with inducing labor before 39 weeks of pregnancy. Your doctor will likely discuss this with you during prenatal appointments and may include it on your birth plan if needed.
C-section Circumstances
Is the baby in distress? Is the umbilical cord wrapped around the neck or body? Is there a medical condition that necessitates a cesarean section?
Intervention (suction, forceps, episiotomy)
If you don't want any of these interventions, make sure that your doctor knows ahead of time. (Note: Some hospitals have policies that require doctors to perform these procedures even if they're not medically necessary.)
Birth partners
Who will be in attendance for the birth? This person may also want a copy of the plan so that he or she can follow along during labor and delivery.
After-birth preferences
Do you want skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth? Do you want an immediate breastfeeding session or do you want baby taken away for weighing and cleaning up first? These are all important questions that can affect how long it takes for baby to get back into your arms!
Who Needs to See Your Birth Plan?
Identify the lead member of your birthing team. That might be your OBGYN or a holistic practitioner such as a doula. Your primary point of contact should be the first person to review your plan in depth.
The Medical Team
If you're planning to deliver at a hospital, you'll be working with a much larger team on the day you give birth. You might not know who will be present until you arrive. The staff might change over based on shifts or scheduling.
Ideally, everyone who interacts with you or your newborn before, during, or after birth should be aware of your desires and preferences. The staff may be busy, however, and there may not be time for an in-depth reading or discussion. Bring along a printed copy of your birth plan with the non-negotiable elements clearly marked and highlighted so staff can access them at a glance.
In the hospital setting, you can hand a copy of your plan directly to the charge nurse or the nurse overseeing your care.
Care Provider or Doula
You can share your birth plan with any health care provider or doula.
The person who needs to see it is your doctor, as they are the one who will write your birth plan into their notes.
In some cases, depending on how much time you have before you need to check in for labor, it might be helpful to show the birth plan to your care provider or doula beforehand. This way they know what you want and can prepare for it. For example, if you want an epidural but only want it after hours of labor, then it would be good if they knew that ahead of time so they could start getting everything ready once it was requested.
Your Partner
While there is no right or wrong way to do this, we recommend that you start by sharing your birth plan with your partner early in the pregnancy. Naturally, they should be involved from the beginning of the process. Acquaint them with your plans and desires immediately.
Don't forget to consider their role and preferences when drafting your document. Will your spouse cut the cord or catch the baby? Make these desires equally clear.
Friends and Family
You might also wish to share your birth plan with any friends or family members who will be present at the birth. They will be your fiercest advocates if they notice something isn't right. You'll be grateful to have help on your side if you become incapacitated and cannot self-advocate.
Create and Share the Best Birth Plan For Your Needs
In a perfect world, giving birth would be a simple, stress-free undertaking. A complex event calls for extra forethought in the form of a clear, comprehensive birth plan. When you share your birth plan with your medical team, you'll feel a sense of control and autonomy, even in the face of the unexpected.
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