You have done absolutely everything right. You've spent weeks researching, and you've crafted a clear, comprehensive birth plan. Your spouse and delivery team are on board, and the only thing left to do is welcome your little one.
Unfortunately, your sweet baby has other ideas. What do you do when your carefully considered birth plan goes wrong?
No matter how much you research or plan, there is no way to prepare for every eventuality involved in the complex process of bringing a human being into the world. Sometimes unanticipated things happen, and there isn't enough time to revise your carefully written document. It can feel like you're losing control, turning a special day into a stress-fueled memory.
Take a deep breath. Giving birth is all about expecting the unexpected, and you are stronger than you think. We've created this guide to help you embrace the unpredictability of one of the most beautiful processes on earth.
Read on to learn our best pregnancy tips for embracing uncertainty in the delivery room and beyond.
Resist Perfection
Delivery-related stress often begins long before your contractions start. Some women set themselves up for disappointment before they've even conceived. For many new moms, the biggest issue is the belief that "the perfect birth" is possible.
Remember that when you create a birth plan, you are not drafting a contract—it is not a contract with your doctor, the hospital, or a higher power. A birth plan is less of a plan and more of a tool to start a productive conversation about things that are important to you. If you allow a piece of paper to become law, it becomes harder to embrace the hiccups and happenstance that make your labor journey unique.
The more control you exert on an unpredictable process, the more you have to lose when things inevitably go in another direction. Work to cultivate a flexible mindset in advance. If you tend to be a perfectionist or struggle with transitions or unexpected change, you may wish to engage in a meditation or yoga practice leading up to your baby's arrival.
It can help to remind yourself of the following:
- Your baby hasn't read your birth plan
- Everyone involved in your birth is trying their best
- Your team knows what they're doing
- The goal of any unanticipated intervention is to keep you and your baby safe
Approach the topic of your labor with radical empathy. No one wants to derail your plans or cause harm. Everyone involved shares one goal, which is to help you deliver a healthy, happy baby as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Healing After Loss
The failure to see your birth plan through is a type of loss, and it's natural to grieve for your imagined future. Up to 9% of women experience postpartum PTSD after a traumatic birth. This can cause everything from increased anxiety to flashbacks which can affect your mood, communication skills, and quality of life.
Many women need to pass through Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief to find peace in the wake of stressful labor. If you think you may need help processing trauma, it's important to seek support from a mental health professional. This is the case even if you have delivered a healthy baby.
Many women find comfort in joining support groups, where they can meet others who experienced similar struggles. Many NICU and VBAC moms find solace in the community. They find ways to move forward by coordinating acts of service for other moms experiencing birth trauma, newborn health emergencies, or grief.
It can feel strange to seek support when you have a sweet baby in your arms, but try to resist guilt. The right mental health support can make you a better, more present parent. Accept your reality and pursue the support you need to thrive.
Trust Your Wisdom
When your first delivery is traumatic, it's difficult to reconcile your fears with your desires for another baby. It's essential to foster a growth mindset as you move forward and come to terms with your experience. Accept that your unexpected labor was a learning experience, and move forward with wisdom and more realistic expectations.
This time, write a birth plan that takes your negative experiences into consideration and share concerns with your team as early as possible. Think of your plan as a list of "nice to haves" rather than non-negotiables. If your doctor, midwife, or team cannot meet your needs, it is appropriate to seek a provider who can.
Don't forget to ensure your partner stays involved every step of the way. If you require their support, express that long before you reach the delivery room. A spouse is often your best advocate and will help you overcome your apprehension as you move forward and grow your family.
A Birth Plan Is a Conversation
After a stressful birth, it's natural to want to regain control and do everything possible to look after your sweet baby. The Pixsee smart baby monitor makes it possible to keep a careful eye on your little one from anywhere with multi-encryption data security.
Visit our Amazon online store and Pixsee Shop to explore the many ways that Pixsee helps new moms plan for peace of mind.
